Why Influence Is Hard to Explain
You’re in an interview for that next role. Things are going well. Then the hiring manager asks:
“Can you give me an example of how you’ve influenced others?”
And suddenly, you freeze.
Not because you don’t have stories. You know you’ve influenced people — colleagues, senior leaders, even entire teams. But when you try to explain it, it comes out vague:
- “I spoke with them, and eventually they agreed.”
- “I influenced the team to get on board.”
- “After some conversations, we aligned and moved forward.”
Here’s the problem: those statements don’t actually show how you influenced anyone. They just describe the outcome.
And for the interviewer, it raises a question: Was it really influence… or did you just get lucky?
The Trap Most Candidates Fall Into
Influence is one of the most sought-after leadership skills. But it’s also one of the hardest to prove in an interview.
Most candidates fall into one of these traps:
- Being too vague: They say they influenced someone but don’t explain what they actually did.
- Telling a long story with no structure: They drown the interviewer in details, but the key actions get lost.
- Focusing only on the result: They forget the interviewer wants to know the process — the specific steps that led to the result.
The outcome matters. But in an interview, what matters more is whether you can explain your actions clearly enough that the interviewer understands the steps you took and can see it’s a repeatable skill.
Why “I Just Talked to Them” Isn’t Enough
Here’s why vague answers don’t work.
When you say: “I influenced the VP, and we moved forward,” the interviewer is left wondering:
- Did you actually persuade them, or did they already want to do it?
- What specific steps did you take?
- Could you do it again in this new role?
If you can’t clearly articulate what you did, the interviewer assumes you don’t know — which means they can’t trust you to do it at their company.
So the key isn’t just telling stories about influence. It’s telling them with specific, concrete actions that show you understand the mechanics of influence.
How to Explain Influence Without Sounding Vague
Here’s a simple way to structure your influence stories so they land clearly and credibly.
1. Start with the Resistance
Set the scene by naming the challenge:
- Who wasn’t on board?
- What concern did they have?
- Why was this resistance important to overcome?
Example: “The operations lead wasn’t aligned on our launch date because it overlapped with a major system upgrade.”
This grounds the story in a real, believable conflict.
2. Show the Steps You Took
Think of this as writing out program steps in code. Break down what you actually did.
- Did you request a meeting through their admin?
- Did you start by asking open questions?
- Did you share data, stories, or examples?
- Did you reframe the problem in terms of their priorities?
Be specific: “I scheduled a meeting, came prepared with my top 5 concerns, and started the meeting by asking what their biggest blocker was.”
3. Highlight the Turning Point
What moment shifted the other person’s perspective?
Example: “Their main concern was resource overload so I suggested shifting our launch by one week to avoid their peak period. That solved their objection, and they agreed.”
This shows you listened, adapted, and found a win-win.
4. Emphasize the Outcome
Close by connecting the influence to the result.
Example: “Because of that conversation, the operations lead supported the launch, and we delivered on time with their team fully engaged.”
5. Zoom Out to the Leadership Lesson
Don’t just stop at the story. Share what it says about your leadership style.
Example: “That experience reinforced for me that influence isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about understanding what others care about and framing the solution so they win too.”
Why This Works
This approach works because it makes influence:
- Specific: You show concrete actions, not vague claims.
- Repeatable: The interviewer can see you know how to do it again.
- Credible: The details make the story believable.
Instead of sounding like luck, you demonstrate skill.
Turning Influence Into a Strength in Interviews
If you want to stand out in interviews, prepare 2–3 influence stories in advance. Use the structure above:
- Resistance
- Steps you took
- Turning point
- Outcome
- Lesson
Write them out. Practice saying them out loud. Keep them concise — 2-3 minutes max.
When you walk into the interview, you’ll have clear, specific stories that show you can influence at the level they need.
That’s the difference between sounding vague and sounding like a leader.
NOTE FROM DREW
Here’s something I’ve seen make a huge difference:
Influence is easier when you’ve built credibility before you need it.
If people already trust your judgment, your influence stories start well before the meeting. They start with the relationships and trust you’ve built over time.
So don’t just practice influence for interviews. Practice it daily at work — by being reliable, listening well, and showing others you want them to succeed.
And if you’d like more tools like this, I invite you to join our community free for 7 days.
It’s a place where tech leaders and professionals practice the real skills that get them promoted — not just the technical ones, but the influence, presence, and leadership skills that set them apart.
Come learn with us.
